Attack at the Pierre-Fontaine
by Jan Quackenbush
About the Play: A group of long-tme friends and residents of the Pierre Fontaine Hotel are alarmed by the increasing dangers in the outside world. Together, they try to plan a defense strategy which will protect them all.
Time: The present
Liz, 40-45, Iris’ daughter.
Place: Iris’s apartment, Pierre Fontaine Apartments, New York City.
Approximate Running Time: 40-45 minutes
From the Play:
Iris’ apartment. Door buzzer. Iris enters from bedroom, carrying a strip of bubble wrap and scissors. She crosses to door, looks though peep hole, unlocks many locks, and opens door...
DIERDRE: Am I early?
IRIS: Not at all, come in.
DIERDRE: (Entering) I’m early, you’re being nice, but Iris before anyone comes I want to confide to you: I’m not in favor of this plan. I’d really have to be persuaded that the entire world is sick, sick, sick, not just the terrorists. And I don’t believe it...(Beat)...What are you doing holding scissors?
IRIS: I was cutting fabric.
DIERDRE: Oh. Do you know they confiscated my nail scissors at La Guardia?
IRIS: Yes, you told me, or you told Allison and she told me.
DIERDRE: No, I told Allison and she told Tony and Tony told you, that’s what Tony told me.
IRIS: Oh. That sounds right, Tony’s quite the “networker.”
DIERDRE: No, he’s quite the leader, ”in charge”...up here?...(pointing to her head).
IRIS: “Captain” Tony...he’s still in the Veterans of Foreign Wars.
DIERDRE: He told me he’s in favor of your plan, that you want us to “assemble” together if...we’re attacked!
IRIS: As a matter of fact, Dierdre, Tony has an idea about how we can all survive, that...
DIERDRE: Of course, of course...but, look at me, I’m all nerves, I don’t belong in groups. I don’t even attend our Co-Op meetings! But since this plan is YOURS, Iris, one my dearest FRIENDS! -- I’m here. (checking her watch) : I’m crowding it in. But LOOK! a fast meeting, right? Here, I brought a hat, I put ballots in it so we can vote and get out early. Where should I put it?